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| Well after a long long time of not posting which is typically what I do I have decided to post. So first in case no one heard my mama(my moms mother) had a brain tumor operated on about a year ago and had complications and seizures that plagued her until she passed away three weeks ago. As said as it is I am happy that she is in a better place. I will always miss her from the everyday things she did to the wondrous meals she cooked weekly and on holidays. She is a person that was one of a kind. I just found out yesterday that my papa had only been on three dates with her before he asked her to marry him. 3 DATES! Isnt that crazy.....and they lasted for 54 years. How awesome is that. Next.... I just got back from Vegas and it was a ton of fun but lost all of my money! Thats Vegas for ya.If you want to hear more just ask me. Job............ I still hate my job more than ever, I have applied to what seems like hundreds of jobs and never get a response. I think I can sum it up to its Peoria and there is a ton of people that are looking for jobs and there isnt a ton to hand out so the "weaker" dont get the job.......I have a boss that gets upset and takes it out on everyone. Especially me.......... Relationships...........they suck I hate them and I supposedly the best person at leading people on......well Im sorry. Why cant my relationships be like most people where they meet have common interests, go hang out, not have tons of baggage and enjoy each other. I haven't really been in one for a while but I have tested the waters here and there and they are all nice people but I dont feel that supposed spark that I used to feel when I would date someone and knew there would be at least something there. Something to talk about, something to enjoy, etc. Marriage...........Im so excited for everyone that is getting married. I pray that your marriages will last and create something positive in this world.............because soooooooo many fail. I of course cant wait to get married and maybe this is my problem. I cant wait for the day that my wife and I can just go sit at a Starbucks together on a Saturday afternoon and get lost in a book, or the day that I can invite people over to my wife and I's house for a cookout. Or a Saturday where she can go get lost with the girls and I can get dirty in the garage with the guys! I cant wait for the day that I can be in the hospital at my wifes side and say YOUR A MOMMY! I long for these moments and they feel so far, dark, and cold. I suspect there is a reason I have these feelings but will anything ever become of them. Im 25 and feel like Im in the same position I was at when I was 18 only then I had money and lots of it. Relationship with God...........its not there.........I mean it is but its kinda just blah.... does anyone know what I mean. I feel like I am just sitting here trying to sort all this junk out and not asking God for direction or for comfort. How do I take my baggage, my worries, my hope, my passions throw them out to God and say IM LOST TAKE ME! Cause thats what I am... I am a babbling idiot out in the desert with no shoes, no food, no water looking waiting for something. Im not sure what Im looking or waiting for but there I am. You see me? Maybe you do maybe you dont. My point is here I am a man that feels like a kid and doesnt know which direction to go........the only difference is the kid has his mommy by his side holding his hand. If thats the way we were as kids why aren't we(or I) that way with God. Why can we as kids rely on mom to tkae us by the hand and tell us its ok, lets go this way, I'll bandage that wound, I"LL TAKE CARE OF YOU! Why can we do that but why cant we rely upon God for that. Why cant I rely on God to take that junk I just described and say here you go God take me and all my crap. Help me............I wish I had the answer because wouldnt that be amazing. I could solve everyones problems right? Yeah maybe.......... So why cant we rely upon God in times of need? Has he really ever let us down? Its something to think about isn't it. Cause I think we all know the answer..................... | | |
| So once again I decide that I will post. As you can see my posts are every few months or so. Anyways how am I doing........... I have a lot of thoughts on how things are going personally, friends, family, relationships,etc. Lately it seems like everyone is all worked up over this or that. This not going well or that not going how its supposed to be. Everyone knows that i have been in the very same position and all I can say to anymore is...............GET OVER IT! Now please read I am not trying to be mean. I have a talk with someone today and thats what I told them is GET OVER IT. I know it sucks that the person doesn't like you or something at work didn't go right. Just remember we make our own life so don't dig yourself a ditch and bury yourself it it. Thumb you nose at the world and tell the world, I am better than this petty crap and tell yourself that you are bigger and smarter than that. Now I am sure everyone thinks I am being an ass by saying this but whatever I don't really care what you think. All I am saying is that the majority of things that happen in life are pointless, stupid, or won't mean jack crap 5, 10, 20 years down the road so who cares. If that person doesn't like you, do you really think 20 years from now you will think........I wish insert a name likes me! NO you probably will forget about that person eventually and move on. WHY then do we wait for them to change their mind or wait and carry on the get over it phase. I mean the earths population is approx 6,536,046,862. So why waste time, tears, and energy when their is so many other people out there. That a almost 50/50 male female split. Plenty of of female for males to date and vice versa. Plenty of other friends to be made out there. I want everyone to know I am not pissed off with anyone and am not befriending anyone. This is stuff that I just collectively store in my head from conversations with people and the trouble I see in peoples lives. There is another note I want to mention. Jobs So many times we sit and complain about jobs. I know this is a BIG issue with me. I KNOW I am underpaid. I know someone that does a quarter of what I do. And sometimes I don't do a ton. Here is my scenario. I have a job I love my job and who I work with, but am undrepaid. I pretty much pay my bills and have some fun money to spend. I am in an OK position. I don't have a ton of luxury high end cars, or a sweet condo or house. I make it by........pay check to pay check, car detail to car detail. Sure I sometimes don't need to buy my friends a round of drinks or buy that sweater but I do it because I can. Here is another scenario. You work at CATERPILLAR, you make 50 large or more a year, have a sweet condo or house, awesome sports car, the fine wine or beer whatever you prefer. the sports jerseys for the next great team, etc. You see my point! CREDIT!!!!!!!! Guaranteed to have a large amount of this PURCHASED BORROWED LENT on CREDIT. Sounds like fun yes it does!!!!!!!!!!!Until the markets crash or Cat cuts jobs and the you are screwed........ You are owned my CAT. So which is really better? How about this. In either situation if you would reduce the population down to 100 people, in either situation we are better than 20% of the pop. because they live in poverty. We are better than 76% of the pop. because they can't read. We will be better than 66% of the pop. because they will die of famine. We are better than 93% of the pop. because we a higher educaton and we are better than 92% of the world because we OWN A COMPUTER. RIGHT NOW IF YOU ARE READY THIS YOU ARE BETTER THAN 92% OF THE EARTHS POPULATION!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I can now quit my meaningless bitching and complaining that I don't have enough money to bbuy what I want. I bet that the 92% wish they had my situation with a roof, clothes, debt, income, etc. I bet that the 66% that will die from famine wishes they had my $40,000 in student loans, WHY? Because I can get in my car, with all of my bills, still be able to pay them and be able to watch a movie, go to Mcdonalds, and even YES even go to a gas station and know I can afford to buy a 24oz. bottle of clean mountain refreshing straight from the ALPS bottle of water. I was not going to make this religous and I don't really need to but I have never been on a missions trip and grately want to go, not to feel good about myself because I helped someone poor people build a hut or something like that or because I spread the Gospel. How about taking a missions trip just to help! I think we all need to do something like this so we understand how great we actually have it and how much help is needed in this world. Imagine if every country forgot about religious, political, etc differences quit waging wars and violence on one another and spent their one years defense budget on aiding homeless people, thrid world countries, poverty, uneducated people, etc. That would be around 1trillion dollars $1,407,000,000,000 that number is based on 2.5% of the world gwp. My point is take all of this in and think about your life, how BAD you have it and think again. What do you feel compelled to do? Sometimes I get on here and ramble but its all meaning full in my own opinion. Hope all is going well for everyone and if not read the above statements | | |
| I got an invite to join a myspace promote world peace group and I did. Here is what I said. I do not post often on here and when I do post it personally means something special to me. It may be blabbing to you, but not to me. Read if you wish, hope it makes sense if not that's ok cause it makes perfect sense to me.Here is what I wrote:
We will never reach world peace....... It is shown time and time again from the beginnings of civilization till know. The World will end in a religious battle from every corner of the earth. I am ready to fight for the greater kingdom that awaits me. I honestly would love to have world peace and believe many people are going to great lengths to come together but almost every battle fought has been on religious grounds. We are further apart than ever. We have hundreds more religions than in ancient times causing more inseparable differences that ultimately lead to Islamic, Muslim, Christian, etc bloodshed. We Christians view that Muslim and other religions and beliefs and actions as terrorists. I DO believe they are terrorists and ought to be fought till the end. ON the flip side.... Iran's leader now has a blog space ultimately to promote his agenda against the Western World. He tries to be personal and connect to the reader and call the U.S. and its allies the Western World terrorist's. That part of the world ultimately view themselves as right and us as land occupying terrorists with hidden agendas of oil, money, freedom, and democracy. My question is how do you promote world peace to the far right and far left sides of the world? How do you go about and connect or how do they go about and connect with us where we all can find a common denominator or common ground to unite and hold hands and be a world of one.
This is from Martin Luther King Jr's speech delivered on the steps at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. on August 28, 1963.
When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"
In America we still have inequality, racial profiling, discrimination, etc. In less than a week, 6 days to be exact. It will be 43 years ago that MLK JR. gave this magnificent speech. How are we as a World expect to have World Peace when America does not even have Peace within its borders.
Ultimately after writing this I realize that whatever great lengths we go to we each will die at some point. I personally believe in Jesus Christ the One and only Son of God. My alliance lies with HIM. Might heart, my mind, and soul are forever bonded to Him. World Peace........great..........How about Ultimate Peace......That is what lies ahead for those who desire it.
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| Hey everyone,
I know its been a while since I have last posted and I do that for a reason. It takes something that I feel is right to post. I don't just feel like posting random stuff. To many of you it is probably random but those who truley know me and for myself that is why I post.
I was thinking earlier today about life and its roads, paths, unexpected visitors, etc. All it takes in life is one moment, one second to change our lives forever. What if we miss that ONE moment. It could be horrific. What if we miss that one chance to meet our future wife, husband, etc.
What about if we are so rushed to do something we miss that one moment. I think back to my grandparents and how we typically eat over there once a week or so. Many times I am rushed to leave there and go do something else. Many times I don't even go because something else is more important. What if me rushing out of there or not even going is the last chance, the last moment to say a fairwell, a goodbye, a thank yo, or I love you! These are my grandparents that have went throught absolute pain, suffering, and sacrifice to provide me with the life that I live. If not for them I would not be living in the house that I live in. They helped with the down payment, put the new roof on, paid for the new driveway, etc. You can obviously see how much of their retirement saving, their 50+ years of work and savings have been sacrificed for the one's they love. AND ITS ME. Its me that is rushed to leave and not thank them.................................................... And its me that would have to live the rest of my life wondering did my grandpa or grandma fall asleep to never wake up again and know that I meant to say I love you or that I was grateful for what they have given me.
My point is.........WE can never change the past,,,,,,, We can only take the moment that is now, tomorrow, or next year and focus on that moment. Do not live life regretting a past moment. A past drunken night that has caused turmoil, a moment that caused you to lose a friend to a stupid fight, a moment that you continually reflect upon. Work on the moments that are now, so that in the future you will not regret those future moments. If we focus on the current moment and genuinely open ourselves up to the moment as if it is our last moment that we will live, or see that person, etc.. the outcome of that moment will not be regrettable but relivable.
So many times in life i reflect on the past and the mistakes I have made. A drunken fight, a cursing match, losing my virginity, fist fights, losing friends, leading dual lives, being a hypocrit, etc. Let go of the past and work on the present.
I am sure know one has read to this point, but if you have and if it has you thinking, have someone else read it also. My challenge is to have as many people read this and think about this and genuinely devote your time to the current moment. We have our lives ahead of us so lets not dwell on our mistakes but take them and transform them in memories to drive us to be genuinely better people and think about the little things such as the thank you, I love you, etc as I described with my grandparents.
If you have read this I thank you very much for reading and pray for YOU.
To anyone that is going to Texas with our church or elsewhere, God Bless and have a good time and a great journey.
Jeff Clark | | |
| Here is the lyrics to one of my favorite songs right now!
11 LONELY DAY (2:47)
Such a lonely day
And it's mine
The most loneliest day of my life
Such a lonely day
Should be banned
It's a day that I can't stand
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
Such a lonely day
Shouldn't exist
It's a day that I'll never miss
Such a lonely day
And it's mine
The most loneliest day of my life
And if you go, I wanna go with you
And if you die, I wanna die with you
Take your hand and walk away
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day in my life
Life
Such a lonely day
And it's mine
It's a day that I'm glad I survived | | |
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